Personal shit off this blog for the most part but oh well no one reads it anyways. I have some things going through my mind at present. My main concern first and foremost is for humanity as a whole. I was chatting with my home girl and we were talking about what the fuck is going on. We are both going through some similar stuffs. What is the point of living if its only for the moment? Why even live if you are constantly blaming the rest of the world for your issues and not facing those dilemmas and trying to handle it? Why are so many people so non reflective? FUCK THE SIMPLE MINDED. What good are you to another person if you aren't good for yourself. Should you want to be good for another person. My other homie was talking about how "fidelity" is important, being on a mutual platform with another person is essential for any relationship giving space for difference; not hindering the individual. People get too attached too territorial no matter how much they try to minimalize the things that make them insecure. I'm sick of the stultification of people around me..i'm sickened.People also start thinking about their own momentary hedonistic pleasure way too much and end up having all these issues that stem from the "crimes they commit." Really its easier fucking someone then having to deal with emotion I would rather have meaningless sex with many then ever give myself whole heartily to anyone right now or maybe even ever...not because i'm afraid of myself but just because there is no point really. If life is all about moment then wtf...My life should be like a fucking R. Crumb comic strip. I dunno maybe I should give into all the sick shit I think about. Have no idea. Have no idea what being selfless is anymore. Having the word "love" so heavily focused on my whole life, I've been naive. "But the petty thought is like a CANKER: it creeps and hides and wants to appear nowhere-until the whole body is rotten and withered by little CANKERS." True Love really isn't about fairy tale. People have a really difficult time accepting that because of what society has stuffed down their throats since existence started that just isn't reality and never will be. I'm not saying that because I'm a bitter person either. I can't say my experience hasn't jaded me but I think my observation is fair. Maybe life really is all about success for you and yourself and no one else :become the SUPERMAN. Leave everyone in the dust no matter what it takes? As long as your basic animalistic needs are satisfactory just for a sec. There is always this constant struggle with power over oneself and other humans. Human Nature is FUCKED. I start to ponder maybe people really are flawed if they aren't free. Maybe the individual is more important than anything? Should you cry over people....I have done it once but I don't really believe in that. Not too sure c'est la vie.
For the time being Nietzsche is my man.
PONDER THIS:"GREAT OBLIGATIONS DO NOT MAKE A MAN GRATEFUL, THEY MAKE HIM RESENTFUL; and if a small kindness is not forgotten it becomes a gnawing worm."
and another: "AND SHOULD YOUR FRIEND DO YOU A WRONG, then say: "I forgive you what you did to me; but that you did it to yourself- how could I forgive that?' Thus speaks all great love: it overcomes even forgiveness and pity......but mark, too, this saying: All great love is above pity: for it wants- to create what is loved!"
I dunno maybe i'll just cry to Nina Simone.http://www.box.net/shared/static/mgdg57ot7m.mp3(little girl blue)